On Instagram, my caption for this photograph was, "find yourself somebody who doesn't judge you when you have to un-button your high-waisted skirt because you ate too much at dinner." I wish I was joking, but that actually happened. Later that night, I contemplated how lucky I am. I was born into an incredibly loving family. I have been blessed with parents who support me in everything that I do. I have always admired their parenting style because they gave me the freedom to become who I am. They taught me what it means to stick to your values. They taught me what it means to have a "good head on your shoulders."
As I have grown up, the blessings in my life have continued to multiply. I often ask myself what I did to deserve such an amazing life. I could talk about Ian forever. He is my complete and utter opposite. I am a very impulsive person. I have no rhyme or reason for how I do anything. The word "routine" is not in my vocabulary. Try as I might, I just cannot seem to maintain any type of order in my life. Ian's life is ruled by routine. He is a very logical person. Once he has found the most efficient way to do something, any alternative method no longer exists. Everything he does is calculated. He will never say or do anything that he does not mean. He is opinionated and has no problem letting you know what he thinks. He greets the world with a smile and is always ready to take on the day. From the moment I met him, I knew I was in trouble. I swear I have never laughed as much as I do when I am with him. He annoys me more than anyone I have ever met (and I am positive he feels the same way about me), yet I could not imagine my life without him.
I like journals because you can see how you have evolved. I found an entry from 2013 where I had written down my favorite quote. This quote was something I tossed around in my head for years before I met Ian.
"When's the last time you let someone run their fingers through the knots of your soul?"
This quote speaks absolute volumes to me. I think this quote is what helped me to understand what love truly is. I was wasting so much time trying to be perfect. I altered my personality to try to fit what I thought people were looking for. Love means loving somebody because of their flaws, not in spite of them. Ian sees me like I have always wanted to be seen and I didn't have to change a thing about myself. That is an indescribable feeling.
When you open yourself up to others, you are leaving yourself vulnerable. That is absolutely terrifying. However, you are also giving yourself the opportunity to be known.
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu